My mother smokes in our house and refuses to quit. It is disgusting. I hate smoke and i hate her selfishness!!
I am a 14 year old girl. I live with my family: dad, mom, sister-20 years old, brother-17 years old, 4 cats, and a dog. My mother smokes constantly and everyone in the house is sick and tired of the constant smoke ruining our skin, lungs, body. It is completely disgusting and I can not stand it. Also, I am the only person in my house that can not drive, so my mom usually drives me places and she smokes in the car. I try talking to my mom about her smoking but she completely refuses to even do that. I have no idea what to do about any of it. She makes it so difficult to live and to like her. She knows she is killing herself and everyone in the house but truthfully, she seems not to care. Sometimes I get really angry when she's smoking and do crazy stuff to bring her attention to her smoking issue. Once I cut up 5 packs of cigarettes and poured them in her bed (my mom and dad don't sleep together). Also, I threw her ashtray into the street once (damn thing doesn't break). Please help! :(
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Other than the smoking issue, what is your relationsip with your mother? Is it close, normal, estranged? Have you tried tough love or is that a direction you don't want to go? Is there something about you that your mother would miss is it was no longer there? I don't know how your other family members are addressing this issue, if at all. Sometimes a joint effort is a viable option. Always keep in mind that it is an addiction that she is dealing with and it may not be that she doesn't care she simply can't cope with quitting. Everytime she asks you the question "What would you like" when it comes to your birthday or the holidays answer that you would like for her to at least try quitting smoking. When I examine my life I find that there are things about me that irritates others. I have offered to quit one of mine in exchange for one of anothers. There are plenty of odor removal products and many are on time releases to help keep a cleaner air in the house. Yes, second hand smoke has been proven to be harmful; however our bodies can combat some pretty bad stuff if we stay healthy. So exercise, eat the right foods, and get the proper amount of rest. I have a brother who deals with excess alcohol usage.
Yes, it makes it hard to like him at times. But family is family. Keep trying to cope, and be innovative in your quest, but my personal view, don't use destroying her items as a way to make a point. As you have seen, it doesn't work anyway. It is easy to love the lovable, as a test of character, keep working with those who are not.
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