Im gay and i like my best male friend?
I am 16 years old, im a sophmore in high school in Massachusetts, (going into my junior year) I like one of my freshmen friends (going into his sophmore year), his name is Kyle, I like never see him in school, he is on my bus though. Im in a trade school so, its sophmores and seniors are "paired" together, and freshman and juniors are "paired" together, you know how these trade schools go, one week of a "shop/trade" (that you take until senior year) and other week is academics. but continuing on. He is so cute, he is very beautiful, he's nice, funny and sweet. he makes me feel so happy when im around him, I love being able to poke his wittle tummy and make him laugh, sometimes i feel his leg, or poke his exposed skin through his ripped pant leg, and it turns me on. or i do other cute things like hold my hand against his to see which is bigger in length, and his is. Kyle knows i am gay, and he has no problem with that. he is a quiet kid anyways, he doesnt have a lot of friends, he keeps to himself, he's not so outgoing, especially about his love life, in other words, he rarely ever talks about a girl or boy he likes. and a few months ago i asked him if he was gay and he simply said nahh man im straight, i like vagina. and you wouldn't believe how hurt i was. Now Kyle could of been shy and what not, but schools out and its hard to contact him, and Kyle doesnt text or facebook much at all, but I HAVE TO tell him how I feel, I just do not know how to. I mean I think about Kyle and me kissing, holding hands, laughing together, being naked together, laying in bed together. Sometimes I even have freakin dreams about the kid, I just am attracted to him so so so much, im out of the closet when it comes to being gay, i do not care who knows, sure ive gotten made fun of but idc, but about Kyle, I just, I really have feelings for him, im like in love with him, ever since i saw him come on the bus last year as a freshmen, my eyes just locked, but i was a little bisexual then because i still didnt know if i was really gay or bi or w/e. But im gay, and he does know, he doesnt mind me at all, he's not like a person to judge people or anything, the only thing he does is smoke cigarettes, which is fine with me, idc bout that, but I want Kyle to be with me, in my arms and to hold me and call me his baby. but one time when i was with Kyle on the bus we were joking together, and my friend said to Kyle that I said kyle is my "*****" and Kyle said nahh, Lorenzo's my "*****" and i was just so in awww mode because he said that. another time on the bus, I sat next to Kyle and he was chewing gum. So for some reason I just put out my index finger and he took the gum wrapper and wrapped it around my finger, and told me not to take it off and bring it to him tomorrow in school the next day, i did and he said aww Lorenzo, u still kept it, and my heart smiled. I have it in my draw in a freakin zip lock bag, sure call me obsessed but i think im in love with Kyle, I've known him for the entire school year and I cant wait any longer, i need to tell him how i feel. but i mean hey, its life and if he just doesnt like me that way, then i have to move on eventually, sure i feel like he is the only guy i want and am attracted to, but like everyone else, there is always someone out there for someone. But im 16, ive wwanted a boyfriend for years, and Kyle fits my description of what i want in a guy, nice, charming, funny, sexy, cute, beautiful, love able, adorable and just everything i like in a guy, he's skinny, and my same height, white/Caucasian (as I am. .. im italian/american/catholic) everything about him. Kyle just doesnt know how he makes me feel. everytime i see him i become happy, no matter what my mood was previously during the day, i know when i get on that bus and i see his face, my heart glows and i am so so freakin happy. Kyle is the one for me, but I dont know how to tell him how I feel, thank u to whoever has read this whole thing, and whoever gives me good advice, so i have 62 days of summer vacation to be thinking about him and kickin myself in the butt cuz i shoulda told him sooner, Kyles my everything and I want to be his everything, someone pleasee help me with some advice. thanksss so much guys. Also just another note, im in counseling and what not, so I talk to her about my feelings I have for Kyle, and she is a good sport about it, and she doesnt judge me, I like going to counseling and being able to talk to her about it, but its only once a week, and id love to get some feedback from online viewers. just you have to understand I really like Kyle, with all my heart, no one who Ive ever seen before, turns me on so much. Im not all sex crazed though either, I would like a relationship with honesty trustfulness, clarity, etc.. sex is just a bonus. Sure I imagine Kyle and I making love, he's just the cutest boy Ive ever seen. so someone, pleas
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Aww sweetheart, the definition of puppy love soo cute, um definitely i would say to tell him but do it in person so you can see his reaction and you know get a real feel for everything its kind of a rite of passage for us gay kids to fall in love with a straight boy i totallyyy went through this a couple years ago wen i was in middle school unfortunately he moved away nd i didn't quite get to tell him how i felt so definitely let him kno again if he's a real friend you kno he'll simply let you down easy but den again you never know sexuality is a spectrum my dear its not just black, gray, and white its a spectrum of various colors and various degrees of attraction
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